THE LIGHTHOUSE1WHAT does it mean then, what can it all mean? LilyBriscoe asked herself, wondering whether, sinceshe had been left alone, it behoved her to go to thekitchen to fetch another cup of coffee or wait here.What does it mean? — a catchword that was, caughtup from some book, fitting her thought loosely, for shecould not, this first morning with the Ramsays, con-tract her feelings, could only make a phrase resoundto cover the blankness of her mind until these va-pours had shrunk. For really, what did she feel, comeback after all these years and Mrs. Ramsay dead?Nothing, nothing — nothing that she could expressat all.
She had come late last night when it was all mys-terious, dark. Now she was awake, at her old placeat the breakfast table, but alone. It was very earlytoo, not yet eight. There was this expedition — theywere going to the Lighthouse, Mr. Ramsay, Cam, andJames. They should have gone already — they hadto catch the tide or something. And Cam was notready and James was not ready and Nancy had for-gotten to order the sandwiches and Mr. Ramsay hadlost his temper and banged out of the room.
‘What’s the use of going now?’ he had stormed.Nancy had vanished. There he was, marching upand down the terrace in a rage. One seemed to heardoors slamming and voices calling all over the house.Now Nancy burst in, and asked, looking round the169